Tuesday, August 14, 2012


We've been going through a lot the past 2 months with my youngest daughter.  First, with her hitting her head really bad and having constant headaches for almost a month and having to have  a couple of CT scans.  Then she got sick one day, developed a fever and was very lethargic.  I took her to the dr and she said Zoe just had a virus and she would be fine.  This is her at the dr office.  Normally she would be running around the room.

I ended up taking her to the ER that night b/c her fever was up to 103 and wasn't coming down with tylenol or anything.  They sent us home telling us that she was fine, she just had a virus and to keep her hydrated.  After we got home she was walking really funny and we couldn't figure out why.  That was a very scary night.  I was up with her most of the night and her fever got up to 103.6 and she started having hallucinations which was really freaky.  This is her the night she was having the hallucinations.  I have no idea what she was staring at, there was nothing there :/  Several times she started talking to the hallucinations and trying to hit them.

Then I noticed a rash about the size of a slice of bread that was red, hot and slightly swollen on the top of her thigh but didn't think too much about it.  The next day she still had a fever and was vomiting and i took her back to the dr and they still said the same thing.  Within 2 days the rash spread down the front of her shin and she still had a fever and was vomiting.  We ended up taking her to the ER that night (a different ER) and they still told us that she just had a virus and she was fine.  They gave her a bag of fluids b/c she was dehydrated and took some blood to run some tests that were supposed to be ready the next morning and we all went home for the night. 

The next morning I went back up to the hospital by myself to get the test results.  When the doctor told me that all her test results came back normal I couldn't take it.  I broke down right there.  I was just so scared and we had been taking her to the doctors constantly and no one was helping us, just saying she had a virus and she would be fine.  Here is a picture of the rash after it had spread down her leg...

You can see it's starting to spread onto the top of her foot on that bottom side.    2 days after taking her to the hospital her whole foot was red and swollen and she could barely even move her toes b/c they were so swollen and she couldn't walk anymore.  I took her back to the doctor again and she took one look at Zoe's foot and said that it definitely wasn't a virus and she put her on some high dose antibiotics and said it looked like she had a bacterial infection.  They also sent us for x-rays which they said looked fine.  She wasn't able to walk for 4 long days and the antibiotics didn't seem to be doing much.  After 4 days on the antibiotics her foot was still red and swollen and hot but she could walk on it a little.  After 10 days on the antibiotics she was walking on it but still favoring that foot a little and it was still red, swollen and warm, just not as red, as swollen or as warm.  So the doctor said we needed to take her to a childrens infectious disease specialist (very scary thing to hear the doctor say).  The pictures don't do it justice, it was much redder in person.

So we took her to the infectious disease specialist and he said to take her off the antibiotic, that it wasn't an infection but he wasn't sure what it was but put her on the steroid, Prednizone.  He said that whatever it was that it wasn't anything serious (insert HUGE sigh of relief).  He said that if he had seen her sooner he probably could have given us a diagnosis.  Then he sent us over to the childrens hospital for MORE x-rays and bloodwork.  Everything came back normal, yet again.  A few days after coming off the antibiotic her foot started to REALLY look better and she was finally able to wear her shoes again.  And now her foot is back to normal :D 

And, just because I LOVE pictures, especially pictures of my beautiful girls, here are some pictures I recently took of her...

And her sister, Alyssa...

And one more of Zoe from today :)

During that time that all this was going on with Zoe I was so consumed with everything that I didn't contact the guys (I and A)  Then about 2 weeks ago I e-mailed "I" and updated him on everything that had been going on and asked about the baby and everything and I still haven't gotten a response.  I sent him a text the other day too and no response.

The worrier in me says that something is wrong, that they're mad at me and want me out of their lives (I know that's probably crazy but it's basically every surrogates worst case scenario).  Then my more rational side says that they're just busy with trying to balance work and the baby and everything is fine, they'll contact me when they get a chance.  But like a very wise surrogate friend said, "A simple text takes so little time but means so much."  Anyways, here are the most recent pictures I have of him (they are from last month).  He is 4 months old now and already weighs 20lbs!

Nathaniel with 2 of his cousins.  I love that face...LOL!

On another note, my agency contacted me the other day wanting to know if I wanted to come back for another surrogacy :D  HELL YEAH I DO!!!  I can't wait to be pregnant again.  I keep seeing women with pregnant bellies and I miss it so much.  It's just an amazing feeling and I think knowing that the pregnancy is for a greater purpose makes it even more rewarding. 

Until then I have been working on loosing some weight.  I went back to my pre pregnancy weight without doing anything and have been wearing all my regular clothes since about a month after delivery but I was already heavy before I got pregnant and this is something I've really been needing to do.  I've been using myfitnesspal and tracking my calories and we try to walk or ride bikes in the evening if we can and I already lost 6 lbs in the first 2.5 weeks.  I'll weigh again in the morning and hopefully that number will go up at least a pound :)  I'm only eating a maximum of 1280 calories a day and some days it's hard b/c I've been having some major cravings the past few days but it's paying off and I'm losing weight so I'm gonna stick to it.  One thing I got REALLY excited about the other day was when I finally broke through the 200 lb barrier.  I have been over 200 for a very long time (probably close to 10 years) and I was very happy to be back in "one"derland :D  I bought a new pair of jeans the other day to celebrate (a size smaller than I would have bought pre pregnancy:).  I think it was the first pair of non maternity pants I have bought in years.

I highly recommend myfitnesspal though.  I never thought counting calories would work for me but it has and the app makes it super easy to calculate everything.  Also, it really opens your eyes to how many calories you were consuming a day (no wonder I couldn't get below 200), how many calories are in things and what the correct portion sizes are.  I love it.  My husband has been using it too and has lost 13 lbs in 2.5 weeks!