A Little Scare

I kinda got a little freaked out today.  I started spotting this morning.  It was just a tiny bit at first then it got worse.  I didn't know what to do.  I was so afraid I was about to start bleeding and everything was going to be ruined.  I was already disappointed that my lining wasn't thicker at my last lining check and now this (plus my face is breaking out like crazy and I don't know if it's the stress or the hormones, probably both)...ugh!!!  So I called the RE and he told me to increase the EIO to .3cc instead of .2cc and to go ahead and do it today instead of waiting for tomorrow when I was scheduled to do my shot and to take it easy for the rest of the weekend.  It seems to have stopped so I'm keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed that it worked :)  Wish me luck!

Rescheduled!!!

Ok, I had my last lining check today and I was pretty disappointed.  The week before last it was at 4 then last week it was at 7 so I was hoping for around a 10 this week.  No such luck.  It is 8.4, which is ok I guess.  It has to be at least a 7 or 8 to transfer so we are good there, just not as high as I expected.  Kolb said everything looked good though and he was not concerned.  Plus since the transfer got pushed back, we now have more time for my lining to thicken up.  Everything happens for a reason :D

So, about the transfer.  The ED got her shot tonight and they are going to do the ER on Sunday and we will transfer on Wednesday.  Can't wait.  I won't be able to make it home in time for my daughter's open house but I'm ok with that now.  I am just going to give hubby a list of questions to ask the teacher and hopefully he can get her e-mail address for me in case I have any more questions.

Tomorrow is my last day on the lupron.  The estrogen pill that I take 1 pill 3x a day, I will now be taking 2 pills 2x a day which is more convenient for me.  And on the 1st I start the dreaded progesterone lozenges and suppositories :/

That's about it.  Can't wait to fly out to L.A. on Tuesday.  Taking the kids to the High Falls water slides tomorrow for the first time.  Can't wait, they are going to have a blast :)  I just hope it isn't too crowded.

A Bit of a Problem

Well, we've got our first little set back.  Apparently the ED was supposed to get a shot to get her body ready for the ER or get her to produce eggs or something but she didn't get it.  I'm not sure when she was supposed to get it or why she didn't get it but Kolb (fertility doctor in L.A.) wants to see her on Friday (tomorrow) to give her the shot.  They were supposed to be doing the ER tomorrow but instead they will just be giving her the shot.  That means that the ER will be on Sunday or Monday.  If they do the ER on Sunday then we will do the transfer on Wednesday.  If they do the ER on Monday then we will transfer on Thursday.  I'm REALLY hoping we transfer on Wednesday b/c Thursday is my daughter's open house (our first open house) and I really don't want to miss it.  I know there isn't really anything I can do about it but that isn't going to stop me from being mad for a little while.  I had everything all set up with my transfer dates and who was gonna watch the kids and I'm just mad that it had to get all turned upside down.  I know that in the bigger picture this is just a tiny problem but when you're as hormonal as I am right now, everything's a big deal.  Ok, I'm done whining, after all, it could be worse.  At least I'm not missing her first day of school or her Kindergarten graduation or anything like that.

In other news, I've got my last E2/US tomorrow so I'm hoping my lining is super thick with a triple stripe :)  I'm so glad this is the last time I will have to drive to Atlanta for a while.  I hate driving in all that traffic.  I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to tell if I'm pregnant or not.  My boobs are still really sore from all this estrogen I'm on and I've been told by some of my surro sisters that the progesterone can cause "morning sickness".  So, I guess it's a good thing I've got plenty of HPTs, 14 to be exact, thanks to my SSS (secret surro sister).  I was scheduled to start the progesterone after my appt tomorrow but now I'm not sure what they are going to want me to do.  Guess I'll find out tomorrow and I'll update again :)

Crazy Hormones

Had another E2/US today and everything looked good.  I think my lining was at 4.5 last week before my period and today it was at a 7 which I think is pretty good.  I think it has to be at least an 8 to transfer.

Besides that there's not really much to post about.  These hormones are making me super emotional right now.  I tried to warn hubby last week that he needed to be super sweet but he didn't listen and upset me and I think I cried for 2 days.  It was awful.  But he apologized and we're ok now (really need a date night) and I'm feeling much better today.  Hopefully he can be super sweet until after I'm off meds (one can hope:)  Just realized that I am going to be flying out to L.A. NEXT SUNDAY!  AHHH!!!  It kinda snuck up on me.  I knew it was getting close but when you say "next Sunday" it sounds so much closer and more real.

E2/US Appt Today

So I had my 2nd E2/US appt today and everything went great.  And for those of you that don't know, the E2 is the blood test they do to check your estrogen level and the US is the ultrasound they do to check your ovaries and the lining of your uterus.  I think at this stage in the process they want your lining to be thin and your estrogen levels to be low (preferably b/c you've just had a visit from AF).

Well, since I took my last BC pill on Monday I still hadn't gotten a visit from dear old AF.  I know it normally takes me 3 - 5 days to start my period after I take my last active BC pill but I have been so worried that it is going to mess something up since it hasn't gotten here yet.  Before your period your lining is typically thick and that is what you shed when you have a period.  And since they want your lining to be thin before you start taking the estrogen you usually need to have a period first.  Luckily when I went to my appointment today the US tech said that my lining was already really thin (4.6) and after they got the blood work back they said my estrogen levels were already really low too.  They wanted my levels to be below 80 and mine were below 25.  So Dr. Kolb said it was ok to go ahead and start the meds without having had a period. 

I was so relieved b/c if he wanted me to have a period first that would push our timeline back.  So, after all that worrying about not getting my period and then getting cleared to start meds anyways, I get home from the store and guess who has decided to come for a visit...dear old AF.  Ahhhh.  I was so worried that I was going to have to wait a couple of days for AF to leave before I could start meds so I called Grace at Dr. Kolb's office right away.  She did a great job of calming me down and reassuring me that it was fine and that I could continue on the meds as planned.  I felt so much better after talking to her.  She is very sweet.

I'm not really sure how much detail I should be giving my IFs.  I tend to tell people TMI and I kind of worry that I am going to tell them something that they really didn't want (or need) to know.  Like when I called them today after my appt.  Most guys don't have a whole lot of experience or knowledge about the female reproductive system and periods and linings as it is.  So, trying to explain it to a gay guy was kinda funny b/c they have even less experience and knowledge about it.  I kinda felt like I was speaking spanish or something...LOL.  Plus it was kinda weird discussing it with a guy.  I've never had a problem talking about that stuff with other women but I've never had to discuss it with a guy before.  I don't have a problem telling them but maybe I should ask them exactly how much detail they want to know  :)

Still Friends :D

Just a quick update on how everything went with my friend.  I ended up going over to her new house yesterday and we had a great time.  I love her new house and our kids had a great time playing together and cooling off in the pool.  So, I finally told her and I was pleasantly surprised by how she reacted.  While I know and understand that she doesn't agree with it, she didn't freak out or get mad at me or anything.  I am so relieved.

Injections, BCP and Life

Not a whole lot new to post.  I did my 5th lupron injection tonight and Alyssa even helped me.  This was the first time she's seen me do the injection since she freaked out.  She cleaned off a spot on my stomach with the alcohol pad then I put the needle in and she pushed the medicine in.  Then I pulled the needle out and she said, "That wasn't so bad."  She was even joking around and laughing about how much she freaked out last time.  I knew she'd come around :)

I took my last BCP yesterday so I am patiently waiting on AF.  Hopefully she will visit soon.  My boobs are killing me.  Don't know if that's from the lupron or b/c I was supposed to start about a week ago and my hormones are probably going crazy.  My patience does seem to be a little thinner than normal also.

We are also trying to get everything ready for Zoe's 2nd birthday.  We got her a trampoline for her birthday and started putting it together tonight.  We got the trampoline part put together and the kids jumped on it for a little while.  We should be able to finish the net sides tomorrow as long as the weather holds out.  Weather has been horrible here lately.  Highs around 96 with 85% humidity and the heat index for today was 113 (in Ga)!!!  Miserable.  I am missing that L.A. weather right now.

I'm watching the Little Couple right now and she is doing I think her 5th egg retrieval.  Out of the other 4 egg retrievals they were only able to get 1 egg and they got 2 eggs this time.  They are trying to get enough eggs together to do some genetic testing on and implant some embryos into a surrogate.  I think it would be so cool to be a surrogate for them.  They seem like really sweet down to earth people.  Just noticed that the fertility clinic they are at is HRC Fertility in California.  Hmmm...wonder what agency they are using.

Well, about my friend, I don't think she has gotten the e-mail yet.  Apparently her computer got struck by lightening and won't turn on.  So, she is supposed to be calling me so we can meet up b/c my husband is her computer repair man.  I guess I will just end up telling her in person when I see her.  Wish me luck.  No telling how she will react when she finds out. 

One Down

Well, I had my "first" lupron injection today.  Very easy.  My 4 year old insisted on watching me do it before she got ready for bed so she stood there watching me get everything ready then right before the needle went in she yelled, "No, don't do it!"  Then after it went it she ran into the next room crying saying she didn't like needles.  LOL!  That child is so overly dramatic.  I was trying to show her that it wasn't going to hurt and it wasn't a big deal but I don't guess it worked.  Hopefully she will calm down in the next couple of weeks and will be so used to it that I will have her doing my injections ;) 

In other news, I wrote my best friend an e-mail the other day telling her about who I am doing the surrogacy for (don't know if I'm getting brave or it was just stupidity).  Up until now she assumed it was for a straight couple.  We don't talk about it much.  I've known her since I was born but our lives keep us busy and we don't see each other as much as we would like.  One reason I never told her is b/c I know she strongly disagrees with homosexuality.  She already thought I was crazy just for doing the surrogacy.  But we've been friends for too long and I couldn't stand keeping something like this from her.  I would rather tell her now and have her never talk to me again (although I hope it doesn't come to that) than go through with it and her find out later.  Since I sent her the e-mail I haven't heard anything from her.  Hopefully she just needs some time to calm down.  Maybe I'll work up the courage to call her next week, we'll see.

Another surrogate posted in one of our FB groups today about receiving some harsh criticism over doing a surrogacy for a gay couple and I am going to post some really good comments people wrote.

"...the Bible teaches acceptance and love, not hate and judgement."

"...ask them if they are God (and we know the answer to that), and then when they say no I say then be quiet and let him do his job when my time here is done. Plain and simple, He is the only one that can judge you in the end and the God I believe in knows my heart and know my IF's hearts and that alone makes me know I'm doing something very right. :) A good Dr. Seuss quote lol, "Always be yourself and say how you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." "

"I was raised Christian and at first I really had to think about it...but to be honest I was raised not to judge people. Who am I to say no someone who wants to start a family. And to be honest most gay people are the sweetest human beings... ever and make great parents. Better then some so-called parents out there. I was hesitant in the beginning to tell people but now I have no shame and if people cant accept it I really don't care. As long as my husband and family are ok that is all that matters...like my mom always said "do they put food on the table"? "pay your bills"? if not don't worry about them."

Going into surrogacy I have had a lot of reactions that I never expected.  I knew my friend didn't like gays but had no idea she would be opposed to surrogacy, as is my step dad.  My mom and dad were ok with the surrogacy but totally freaked out when they found out I was doing it for a gay couple.  I never expected that.  Growing up I was never taught to be judgmental.  I was taught to accept people for who they are on the inside.  Homosexuality wasn't even something that my parents had ever mentioned so I never knew it was an issue.  So you can imagine how completely confused I was when they reacted the way they did. 

I'm sure I will come across more judgmental people during the course of this surrogacy (and the ones that follow).  I just hope that some of the people around me can learn to be more accepting and I am so very thankful for the ones that stand behind me on this topic b/c they far out number the ones that don't.