Happiness :)

I'm 21 weeks now and had a great weekend with my IFs.  They flew in on Friday and met me at the OBs.  The guys went straight for the belly when they saw me.  It was so funny and really cute.  I wish I was farther along so they could feel him kick or something but I'm secretly hoping they will come visit one more time before the birth ;)  We did the big 20 week u/s and everything with the baby looked great.  It's definitely a boy and he's measuring right on track.  I also found out that the placenta is on the front of my uterus towards the top which is why I've only been feeling movement down low.  She said that once the baby gets bigger that will change and I'll be able to feel movement all over.  YAY!!! 

After the OB appointment we went over to the hospital to do the hospital tour.  That went great.  The guys really liked the hospital and they said they had had other surrogates deliver with them and some with gay couples too so it's not anything that's foreign to them.  I think that made the guys feel better too. 

Then we went to dinner with them at this really nice restaurant on the water.  Tommy and I had never been there before but we'd heard it was good, what we hadn't heard was how expensive it is.  If I had known it was going to be so expensive I never would have suggested we go there.  It wouldn't have bothered me if we had paid for our own food but they always insist on paying.  Anyways, dinner was delicious and I gave the guys an early Christmas present.  I had an ornament made for them and they loved it.  And I showed them a picture of the one I had made for me too and they thought it was really cute.

Then Saturday we all went to the Ga Aquarium and had a great time.  Zoe did pretty good.  There was no screaming or crying so that's always a good thing.  When the kids first met "I and A" when we got to the aquarium Alyssa was being kinda shy (Zoe's never shy) but it didn't take her long to warm up to them and she latched onto "I" the rest of the day and I got lots of pictures of them together.  They were really good with the kids and it was nice to see how quickly they warmed up to "I and A".  Before we got halfway through the aquarium you would think they had always been part of the family.  We all had a really nice time and they didn't have any problem lending an extra hand and would jump right in there and chase Zoe down if she ran off.  They are going to be great dads :)

After the aquarium we met a bunch of our family for dinner at a buffet/hibachi restaurant.  My mom and dad came, my aunt and uncle, my brother and his girlfriend, my best friend and her husband and Tommy's mom and aunt.  Everyone really liked the guys and thought they were really super sweet.  It went really well and everyone talked and got along.  I couldn't have asked for more, it went really well.  When Tommy's aunt was hugging me and telling me bye she told me how proud of me she is and started to tear up.  It was super sweet, she is a really nice lady.  She has been so excited and happy about the surrogacy since the beginning.  Even my mom is finally coming around.  She really likes the guys and bought them a little gift and card and gave it to them at dinner.  It was really sweet and it really makes me feel better seeing her come around as much as she has and really accept them. 

21 week belly :)

This is the ornament I had made for them.  I put one of the u/s pictures in it for them too :)

This is the ornament I had made for my tree :)

All of us at the Ga Aquarium ("A" is on the far right and "I" is next to him, holding Alyssa).  After seeing this picture I'm wishing I had worn the shirt I had on in my 21 week belly picture.  More flattering I think.  I'm not a big fan of shirts that float away from the belly at the bottom (especially during pregnancy) but hubby said it looked good so I wore it.  Men, what do they know?

Happy

Well, I'm sick.  I feel like crap and I just want to stay in bed all day.  My head hurts, my nose is all stuffed up and runny and I can feel the pressure in my sinuses and my ears.  Hopefully it will go away soon.

I am also 19 weeks along now and for the past few days the baby has been moving around like crazy.  There were a few days last week where I got really worried b/c I didn't feel him move but he has definitely made up for it.  He started moving again when I was out black Friday shopping Thursday night.  He's learned a new game, playing soccer with my bladder, and he seems to be enjoying it. 

No matter how sick I feel, feeling the baby kick always puts a smile on my face.  I don't care how many pregnancies I have, that will always be my favorite part and it never gets old.  I feel so blessed to be able to carry this baby for "I and A".  I love seeing all the cute clothes and stuff they pick out and hearing about how many family members are looking forward to this baby.  This baby is already loved by so many people and I can't wait to see what great parents "I and A" are going to be.

11 days and counting until "I and A" arrive for the 20 week u/s.  I can't wait for everyone to get to meet them.  I'm sure everyone is going to love them as much as we do, what's not to love.  I just hope my kids don't make them change their minds about having kids when we all go to the Ga Aquarium together :)  We haven't been to the Ga Aquarium since Zoe was a baby, and for good reason.  Hopefully she will behave herself.

18 weeks

I'm 18 weeks along now and feeling great.  Not much new going on here.  I've been having a lot of headaches this week but nothing I can't handle.  I can't wait till the guys come up in Dec.  I went to a Pampered Chef party at my aunt's house yesterday.  I really enjoyed it.  There were a lot of family members there that I normally only see once a year and only one or two of them knew about the surrogacy.  My aunt is very happy about the surrogacy and can't wait to meet the guys when they come up in December so of course she was asking how I was doing and how everything is going and before long everyone knew about the surrogacy.  It went really well.  As a surrogate you always wonder how people will react but everyone was really happy about it and no one had anything negative to say so that was good.  Everyone said I looked great (which is always good to hear).  So, here is a 18 week belly picture.  It's not great but here it is anyways :)

In other news...

There is a fellow surrogate I'm really worried about.  I've been thinking about her all day.  She is 18 weeks, just like me, and she got admitted to the hospital last night b/c she was leaking amniotic fluid, there is a tear in the sac.  They did an u/s and the baby had a good heartbeat but the fluid was low.  This is an update she posted earlier...

 I have a tear in my sack. The baby has a lot of water still around her. The doctor said its considered a miscarriage and began prep for an immediate C-Section. I refused (which pissed off the dr) who then began to tell me all the awful things that can happen with low water. I got the IF on chat and we discussed it. He supported me completely. Contractions set in..hard ones. I was crying and begging for them to stop. They gave me meds to stop them and morphine for pain. I got 6 bags of IV fluids in just a few hours and things started to slow down. I was sent home to do "what you feel safe doing" and ordered to return if more fluids come out or my contractions start again. I have to manage to keep her in for the next 6 weeks until I hit 24 weeks for her to even have a chance. I'm scared and I feel like I failure (i know..its not my fault). My IF's are amazing and just keep telling me how much they love me and lucky they and Elle are to have me. I refuse to give up on this baby. I love her.

I can't believe they just sent her home and wouldn't keep her or try anything else but she is going to see a different doctor tomorrow so hopefully they will try to do something and not just send her home again to basicly await the inevitable.  Personally I'm hoping that with the right doctor and lots of bed rest and fluids the tear will heal itself and the fluid level will go up again and the baby will be fine.  I'm sure whatever happens it's going to be a long hard journey.  Noone ever wants to be on bed rest, especially for as long as she would have to be.  I just wish her the best of luck and hope that baby hangs on, for everyone's sake.

Blessed!!!

I am feeling amazingly blessed and lucky right now to have the wonderful IFs that I have.  I had a pretty rough day yesterday.  My 2 year old was driving me insane.  She woke up about an hour early yesterday morning saying she was hungry so I went ahead and got up a little early and fixed them breakfast and took Alyssa to school.  Zoe was so tired she fell asleep on our way home from taking Alyssa to school.  I woke her up b/c it wasn't time for her nap and we had to finnish getting ready b/c I needed to go run some errands.  We went up town to the tag office and to pay the water bill and I put Zoe in the stroller b/c I had to park down the street and I didn't want her running off or running around the building while I was trying to pay or waiting in line.  She was fine on the walk up to both stores but once inside she started crying and screaming and pitching a fit.  It was horrible and there wasn't anything I could do to get her to stop.  Zoe is one of those kids you DO NOT want to be around when she's tired (or in the same store with).  Of course people are all staring, which I could care less about.  This one lady that walked in the tag office after us was particularly annoying with her staring.  She wouldn't quit!  She looked like she was in her 40s and very heavy set and she was wearing a belly shirt!  Anyways, after that fiasco I decided to cut my errands short and went home to lay Zoe down for a nap.  She fell asleep about half way home and I took her in the house to lay her down and she woke up wanting me to rock her.  So I rocked her then put her to bed and a few minutes later she got up and came out of her room.  So I put her to bed again and a little while later she got up and came out again saying she was hungry.  So I fed her then put her down again and a few minutes later she got up again.  I finally ended up spanking her and putting her back to bed and after that she finally stayed in bed and took a nap.  After her nap we had to pick Alyssa up from school and go to wal-mart so I would try to finnish getting some of the stuff I was needing to get earlier.  The whole time Zoe wasn't listening and wasn't staying with me and she was getting into everything and driving me insane so I put her in the buggy seat.  We had a McDonalds cup with sprite that I had put in the back of the buggy and she reached back there and grabbed it by the lid and tried to pick it up and she dumped it out everywhere.  All over the floor and half the stuff in the buggy.  That was it.  I couldn't take any more.  I had reached my limit for the day.  I got the kids and my purse and left.  Just left the buggy and everything right where it was and went home.

I was talking to "I and A" today and telling them I had a bad day yesterday and they called the lady at GG and told her they wanted to offer to pay for child care.  So if I need to go run errands or just need some me time that they will pay for a baby sitter or daycare.  I couldn't believe it.  I was so overwhelmed that they would do that.  It's just above and beyond and I appreciate it so much that they would offer.  Now, onto my next problem.  I've NEVER left my kids with anyone besides my mom or my MIL.  I'm not real big on day cares.  I went to daycare as a kid, I would just prefer not to leave my kids there if I can keep from it.  I'm sure I will figure out something b/c it would definitely help my sanity to be able to get a break on days like yesterday when the kids are super fussy and I've got stuff I need to do.  I just can't thank them enough.  They are amazing and I couldn't have asked for a better match.

16 week update

Wow!  16 weeks already.  I am feeling great and really starting to enjoy this pregnancy.  The nausea and headaches are gone as long as I don't skip a meal.  The baby's kicks are getting stronger and I enjoy being able to feel them more now.  The 20 week u/s got pushed back a week to Dec 9th.  Everything else is the same.  The guys fly in on Friday and we are going to my OB appointment then going to the hospital tour.  Then Saturday we are going to the Ga Aquarium and having a big dinner with the family later.  I can't wait.  The guys are so excited to come and see me and meet my kids and our family.  They already have their flight, hotel and rental car booked.  December will be here before we know it.

I had a checkup last week and everything looked great.  All my test results came back negative and the baby's heartbeat sounded great.  "I" was on the phone during the checkup and was able to hear the baby's heartbeat.  It was the first time he has been able to hear it without it being a recording or something so he was pretty thrilled about that.  Then the midwife happened to mention something about the optional ultrasounds they offer to find our the sex of the baby and of course "I" was all over that.  He said they had had a really bad week and would love some good news to cheer them up.  Unfortunately the last u/s appointment for the day had just been taken and they didn't have another one available until Tuesday (5 days later).  I could tell he was very disappointed so I told him I would call up there every day and see if they've had any cancelations.  The next day they still didn't have any openings so I got her to see if their other locations had any.  Score!!!  We got an u/s scheduled.  I had "I and A" on speaker phone and the u/s tech told them they were gonna have a boy.  They were so excited.  I loved hearing their reaction.  They both started screaming, it was so funny.  Later I asked them if they'd told everyone yet and "I" said, "Everyone, literally everyone!" and they were out shopping for baby clothes and sent me a picture of an outfit they picked out...LOL!!!  They are so funny and they are going to be such great parents.  They sent me some flowers today to tell me thank you for everything and happy belated birthday.

Now, onto the pictures :)

14 weeks

15 weeks

15 weeks

he looks surprised in this one...lol

it's a boy

4D ultrasounds aren't quite as cute this early as they are when you have a 30+ week chubby baby in there, still pretty cool though.

16 weeks

16 weeks 2 days

flowers from the guys :)

Quick Update

My IFs decided that they would wait until the 20 week u/s to come up.  They are going to come up on Friday and go to the appointment with me then we will go to the hospital tour and we'll probably do lunch or dinner sometime too.  Then Saturday the plan is to go to the Ga Aquarium which should be fun.  Zoe hasn't been since she was a baby so I'm sure she will enjoy it.  Gonna have to make sure I bring my leash for that wild child.  It should be interesting to see how the kids take to the guys and how the guys handle being around a kid in the middle of her terrible twos.  After the aquarium we are going to go out to dinner with a bunch of the family so everyone can meet.  And hopefully on Sunday we can meet up one more time before their flight and maybe go to lunch or something.

My next appointment is on November 3rd.  Until then I leave you with this...

...a picture of me at 13 weeks 4 days.  This looks much better than the one in the white shirt :)

13 week u/s pics and rumors

I am 13 weeks along now and the baby is doing great.  Growing right on track and heart rate was 151.  I mentioned something to her about how that was the lowest the heart rate has been so far b/c it's usually around the 170s or 180s and she said that's normal really early on in the pregnancy and the heart rate usually slows down a little bit after that.  Why couldn't any of the other doctors explained that?  I was hoping to be able to get a video today of the baby and the heartbeat but they had some stupid rule about not being allowed to video the ultrasounds.  At least we got a couple of pictures.

The guys (IFs) have been going a little crazy lately b/c they are dying to know the sex of the baby.  They were wanting me to talk to the doctor today to see if we can schedule the 20 week u/s at 17 weeks.  Of course they said no, I figured they would.  They've never been very big on changing the way they do things unless it's medically necessary.  I e-mailed the guys today and let them know what the doctor said and told them that the doctors up there are very good and they are just going to have to trust that the doctors know what they are doing and I know what I'm doing. I got this!  And I told them not to worry so much b/c all they're gonna do is make themselves (and me) get grey hair...LOL! 

Also, the other day when I talked to "I" he said (if we were able to get everything scheduled for a 17 week u/s) that they were going to come up on Friday (day of the u/s) and leave on Saturday.  That really kind of upset me, and I didn't go into details with him about why, but I did say something to him about it today.  I just feel like it's a really strange situation if you ever stop to think about it (which I happened to do a couple of weeks ago).  I am pregnant by someone I've only met once or twice and while I know this is what I signed up for and I don't regret it at all I just feel like I wish there was a better process for getting to know your IPs and really getting that friendship to grow.  When he said they would be coming up Friday and leaving Saturday all I could think was, what am I doing wrong?  Do they not like me?  Why are they not interested in spending time with me and my family esp. since that was going to be the only time I would see them again until delivery.  I am spending all this time and energy growing their baby and they can't even give me at LEAST one full weekend of their time?!?  I know that we have a good relationship and we text almost daily but it would just be nice if they put a little more effort into getting to know me and my family and spending some time with us.  Thankfully after I talked to "I" today he said that they would stay for the weekend like I requested and they were going to talk about whether or not they wanted to come up before the 20 week u/s (around the beginning of Dec) to do a 3D/4D u/s to find out the sex of the baby.  I'm hoping they will decide to do it b/c that's one more time I get to see them before the baby is born :)

Anyways, on to the important stuff......PICTURES!!!!!

And, because I had requests from a couple of my surro sisters to wear a white shirt for my belly picture, here you go.  I hope you're happy b/c I feel HUGE in that shirt :/

Oh, and about the rumors.  My mother-in-law, Paula, got a call from an old friend/neighbor of hers the other day and she said her sister told her that Paula was pregnant.  Of course Paula thought she was crazy and told her that she's XX years old and she's DEFINITELY not pregnant.  Then the friend went on to say that her sister said that it was a surrogate pregnancy and that Paula was doing a surrogacy.  Now I don't know where this sister got her information from but I'm guessing it was some kind of rumor that got going around (probably started by something someone read on FB) from someone who knew someone who knew someone and it happened to get back to us but how in the world it got turned around to say that Paula was the one doing the surrogacy I will never know.  Guess that's just what happens when you live in a small town.  People like to talk and half the time they don't know what they're talking about.

12 weeks

I am now 12 weeks and a couple days.  I had my first OB appointment today and it went great.  I called the guys and put them on speaker phone so they could talk to the doctor and ask her any questions they had.  Last time the guys talked to Kolb he suggested I see a "high risk pregnancy specialist" for my 20 week u/s which I never understood since I'm not high risk.  My OB felt the same way.  She said that there isn't anything high risk about me or this pregnancy but if any of the routine tests or u/s showed anything out of the ordinary then I would of course see the high risk specialist.  Before I left I got her to write me a Rx for Zofran b/c I had just ran out 2 days ago.  So happy to have more :)

In some ways I am feeling better since being off meds but in some ways I am feeling worse.  When I was on all those meds I constantly felt bloated and it was really hard to eat even half of what I would normally eat b/c it made me feel terrible.  Since stopping meds that has completely gone away.  But something else popped up.  I normally get headaches and migraines every once in a while when I'm not pregnant but with my last pregnancy they completely went away during the pregnancy.  I was hoping that was how this pregnancy was going to go and that's how it was going until I stopped the meds.  Since stopping the meds I get a headache or migraine every day and the worse the headache gets the worse the nausea gets.  I'm hoping this is just from my hormones adjusting to being off the meds and everything will level out soon and I will start feeling better b/c this is no fun. 

But, I started feeling movement yesterday, that's always fun :)  It's just a little bit every once in a while (maybe 2 or 3 times a day) but it's a start.  I can't wait till the kids can feel the baby move and kick.  That's going to be so much fun to watch.  I see lots of cell phone videos in my IF's future :D

And here's a picture of me at 12 weeks maybe starting to get a little bit of a baby bump.  My 4 year old tells me my belly's getting bigger...lol.  Kids are so honest :)

Better late than never I guess

I am currently 11 weeks along.  I went to my 10 week checkup last week and everything looked great.  The baby was measuring 10 weeks and a couple days and the heart rate was in the 170s.  After last weeks appointment I got the wonderful news that I could stop the estrogen injection and cut my PIO down to .5cc a day and take 1 estrogen pill 2x a day for the next week.  I had to go in today for some more blood work to make sure my levels are staying up after weaning off the meds and they looked great.  Soooo...I am officially off ALL meds!!!  Yay!!!!  Wooohooo!!!  *Happy Dance*  I'm still pretty tired a lot of the time and nauseous.  I think I'm starting to get a handle on the nausea and I've still only thrown up once.  *knock on wood*  If I get hungry I get nauseous and the sooner I eat something the sooner the nausea will go away.  If I get nauseous and don't eat something soon then when I finally do eat it still takes FOREVER for the nausea to go away, if it does.  Besides the nausea, heartburn and indigestion (which I'm hoping was from the extra progesterone I was taking) this pregnancy has been great so far.  I will be glad when this kid moves out of my pelvis and off my bladder but can't wait till I start feeling movement :)

The guys are just over the moon excited about everything and can't wait to find out what we they are having.  They are really wanting to do an early u/s to find out the sex of the baby and hoping for a girl.  I've only been pregnant with girls so hopefully I won't break that streak now :)  I go to my first appointment with my regular OB next week and with the guys on speaker phone we will talk to the doctor (they have lots of questions).  Hopefully they will be able to find out the sex of the baby early (b/c that means I won't have to wait until 20 weeks to see them again).  I'm thinking that maybe when they do the u/s for the first trimester screening they can try to find out the sex then.  Guess we'll see.  Also, the guys talked to Dr. Kolb the other day and he suggested that we have a level 2 u/s done by a high risk pregnancy specialist.  That doesn't really make since to me b/c this isn't a "high risk pregnancy".  Plus, I thought after the first trimester we got released to our OB and were supposed to do what they recommend, not some doctor on the other side of the country.  I know some OBs will recommend seeing a high risk specialist if a test says something may be wrong but besides that I'm pretty sure I am fine with my u/s tech and I really don't like the idea of having to go who knows where to get an u/s done by a "high risk pregnancy specialist" when I don't need it. 

Guess we'll wait and see how everything goes and maybe the guys will be happy doing whatever the doctor suggests.  I'll leave you with this picture from the 10 week u/s.  Not a great picture but here you go.  Head is towards the bottom and you can kinda see 2 little hands :)

8 week checkup

I went to my 8 week checkup on Monday and we have a perfectly health little "kidney bean" (according to babycenter).  I have to say I got a little worried the day before because I was feeling too good.  I'm sure I'm probably crazy but if I'm not nauseous or tired then I worry that something might be wrong.  Don't think I had that issue with my own pregnancies.  I've talked to other surros who say they are the same way so maybe it's just a surro thing and I'm not actually crazy :)

I thought it was pretty cool that you could actually start to see the little arm and leg buds and the umbilical cord.  Can't wait to see how the 10 week picture looks.  I'm not really sure about the lady that did my u/s this time.  She wasn't the same lady that has done it the past few times and she didn't seem to really know what she was doing.  A few minutes into the u/s I asked her if we could listen to the heartbeat and she told me that you usually can't hear it this early.  So I told her they didn't have any problem hearing it last week!  So, after a few minutes of fiddling around with the machine saying we should be hearing something when we weren't hearing anything, and I could tell by looking at the screen that she wasn't doing it right, she finally called my usual doctor in there to show her how to do it.  YAY!  You would think that would be one of the first things they learned how to do was listen for the heartbeat!  She said the heart rate was 180 bpm which seems crazy high to me b/c both of my kids were in the 130s-140s but I've been assured that it's normal.  After listening to the heartbeat and getting some pictures and a video where you can see the heart beating and one where you can hear the heartbeat she had to check my ovaries (which they always do) and she couldn't find them.  I didn't say anything.  I was just thinking, whatever lady, they were there last week so I'm sure they're still there.

After my appointment I got the word from Kolb's office that they are going to start weaning me off my meds...YAY!!!  That's when I heard my 3 favorite words...Discontinue Progesterone Lozenges :))  I am so happy to be done with those things.  I was also told to decrease my estradoil injection from .3cc to .1cc and the estrace tabs from 2 pills 2x a day to 1 pill 2x a day.  So happy about weaning off meds b/c it means I am that much closer to being released to my OB :)
In other news, I'm feeling HUGE!  Probably b/c I feel like I'm constantly eating to keep the nausea away.  But, I've only thrown up one time and I had been felling fine all that morning but I hadn't eaten anything and I was doing laundry and around 10:30 it just hit me all the sudden.  It wasn't bad though b/c I hadn't eaten so I just went back in there and finished my laundry.  Lesson learned.  I've also noticed that cereal works better than a waffle at keeping the nausea away.  I will probably be starting my weekly belly shots very soon :)

Beautiful Flowers and a Blueberry

Yesterday I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers from "I and A" to brighten my day.  I love them and they definitely did the trick.  The kids were as excited to see them as I was.  It's always nice to get flowers especially since I usually only gets them once or twice a year.  Tommy said if they weren't gay he'd be jealous (other guys sending me flowers) LOL! 

On Monday I started having some minor spotting.  I wasn't really cramping much so didn't think it was really a big deal but decided to go ahead and e-mail the doctor and just let him know what was going on.  I figured he would just tell me the usual (take it easy, try to rest, no sex) so I was shocked when he said he wanted me to go in for another ultrasound.  I just had an ultrasound about a week ago and already have another one scheduled for next Monday, the 12th.  So today I went in for another ultrasound.  I LOVE ultrasounds!  Especially early on in the pregnancy before you start to feel movement.  I knew everything was ok because my nausea has been getting worse the past couple of days and I'm constantly exhausted.  Even though I knew everything was fine and told the guys not to worry (which is apparently impossible) it's always nice to see that ultrasound and hear that beautiful heartbeat.  At my last u/s it was very hard to see the baby b/c he was so tiny and the doctor could just see the flicker of a heartbeat.  This time it was great to see the baby looked much bigger.  I am 7 weeks and the baby is measuring 7 weeks 3 days and he had a heart rate of 150 bpm.  I was so happy I actually got to hear the heartbeat this time.  It's a sound I will never get tired of hearing :)

You can see the baby on the right and his little yolk sac beside him.  Isn't he so cute!  According to babycenter.com he's about the size of a blueberry now.  So I guess we'll see this little blueberry again on Monday and see how much more he has grown.  Can't wait!  I am going to see if i can record the heartbeat with my cell phone next time for the guys :)
I've been debating lately about when to start belly pictures.  I'm not showing or anything, although I would love for that to be the reason I have this huge belly.  I'm sure that 99% of this belly is all me.  OK, it's ALL me, there, I admit it.  Still, I'm not sure if I should go ahead and start taking belly shots now so I will have something to compare it to or if I should wait until I'm actually showing (which will probably be a long while).

I fixed a big pot of chili for dinner last night and had a delicious bowl of chili for dinner.  Then this morning whenever I would go to the fridge I could smell the chili and it made me wanna vomit!  Well, so much for leftover chili for dinner, guess this baby has had enough chili for one day.  I had a wonderful dinner tonight.  I had 3 or 4 handfulls of cashews and an oatmeal cream pie for desert.  Food does not sound good today :(  I did manage to have a decent lunch though.  I had a chicken salad sandwich with a side salad :)

6 Week Ultrasound

I had my first ultrasound (6 week ultrasound) on Monday and everything looked great.  There was one little baby in there and she could see a flicker of a heartbeat, it's still very early.  She also said that it looked like there was a small SCH but she didn't seem too concerned about it.  She said that's probably where my bleeding came from the other day and we would just have to watch it and make sure it goes away.  "A" was supposed to fly in on Monday morning to go to the appointment with me but since the U/S got moved up to Monday and he already had his flight scheduled for Thursday he wasn't able to make it.  He was on the phone with travelocity for 2.5 hours the other day but they wouldn't change his flight or give him a refund.  I was a little bummed that he didn't get to come but my mom and oldest daughter, Alyssa, came with me insead.  But then when we got there they said they don't allow kids back there :(  Luckily it was really quick and they gave me a picture to show them.  I go back again in 2 weeks for my 8 week ultrasound then 2 weeks after that for the 10 week ultrasound.  Can't wait to see how this little baby bean is growing but I can't wait for these first 10 weeks to be over with.  I hate the 1+ hour drive up to atlanta for my appointment.  I can't wait till I am free to go to my own doctor.

I have been having a really rough day today.  Alyssa has been in school for a month now (pre-k) and she still hates it.  Watching my baby fight back tears when I drop her off at school in the morning is almost more than I can take.  All these early pregnancy hormones aren't helping any.  I've been so upset all day and can't wait to go pick her up :'(

I think I've gotten off pretty easy so far with this pregnancy.  I have only had minimal nausea and have been pretty emotional and feel exhausted alot of the time.  I usually try to take a nap during the day when Zoe takes a nap and that definately helps me make it through the day without feeling like I'm about to turn all narcoleptic and pass out in the floor...lol.

21dp3dt

Ok, I've been totally sucking at blogging lately.  Life has been getting in the way.  Going from being a stay at home mom with nothing much I had to do during the day to having Alyssa in school and soccer practices and lots of dr. appointments is taking some getting used to.  I had my first beta on 8/15  at 12dp3dt and it was 133.  Then my second beta was on 8/17 at 14dp3dt and it was 290.  It more than doubled :)  Today I had my 3rd beta, I am 21dp3dt and it was 4023!  Yay!!!  I was shocked when I heard that number.  I was hoping for something over 2500 so I was extatic when I heard it was over 4000.  My first ultrasound is next week but I'm not sure exactly when yet.  I should know something tomorrow.  It was scheduled to be on the 1st but yesterday when I was at Alyssa's soccer practice I started cramping really bad and when I got home I realized I was bleeding so Kolb told me to rest and said he was going to move the U/S to the beginning of the week.  I freaked out a little at first but then I calmed down and wasn't too worried.  Of course noone wants to see blood during pregnancy but I know it's pretty common with IVF pregnancies and have talked to MANY of other surrogates who have had the same thing.  I'm sure there's probably something I am forgetting to update about but atleast I got the main stuff :)

It's POSITIVE!!!

Well, I've been testing like crazy the past week and 8dp3dt and 13 pregnancy tests later we finally got a BFP!  Yay!!!!  I was so relieved.  I know I felt pregnant but it's just a beautiful sight when you finally get that positive test.  Of course I had to take 2 more the next morning and will probably take one more tonight.  My beta is on Monday and I can't wait to see what my numbers are.  I'm hoping they are at least 100. 

Symptoms are still pretty much the same.  I've been having a little more nausea but it's usually not in the mornings it's as the day goes on.  And just been really tired so I usually try to take a nap during the day while the kids are napping.  Still having some cramping off and on during the day but nothing major.  Hopefully all this cramping means there's a lot of growing going on in there :)  I've also been super emotional and can't even watch a sad commercial without tearing up.

I sent the guys a text that night after I got the positive.  After testing for a week straight and not getting a positive I had decided to take a day off from testing on Thursday (day 8).  I had no idea how hard that was going to be and by that night I finally gave in and I'm so glad I did.  I was so excited I couldn't wait to tell the guys but since it was so late I didn't want to wake them either so I just sent "A" a text message and figured he'd see it the next morning.  As "I" was about to walk out the door to go to work the next morning he saw that "A's" phone had a text message and decided to check it before he left ("A" was still in bed).  He read the text and started screaming.  Then "A" woke up real quick not knowing what was going on, thinking they had been robbed or something and was asking "I" what was wrong.  "I" threw him the phone and told him to read it and started jumping up and down.  They were so excited.  I talked to them a little later and you could just hear the excitement in their voices.  The first thing "I" said after seeing the text was, "OMG!!!!  Are you serious???!!!  Can you send a pic of the stick!!! :) :) :)"  So far they have only told their immediate family and 2 best friends and are waiting until after the first trimester to tell everyone else.  "I" said everyone they have told is thrilled.  His mom screamed with joy, Adrian's sister cried and "I's" dad had already called him 15 times by lunch...LOL.  I love to hear about everyone's reactions.  It makes me so happy to hear that they are all as excited as I am and it reminds me that this isn't just about making "I and A" dads it's about the whole family, grandparents, aunts, uncles and all the people who are going to be there to love and help take care of this baby(ies) and I am so happy that I am able to be a part of that.

POAS

As of this morning I am 7dp3dt and still haven't gotten a positive pregnancy test.  It sucks b/c of course you want to see that beautiful positive test, no matter how faint it is.  I just keep trying to remind myself that it's still early and we have plenty of time for a positive.  But I'm convinced all my pregnancy tests must be broken.  I had 14 when I started this and now I'm down to 3.  Probably going to buy another pack or two tonight so we'll see what the next couple of days bring.  My beta is Monday morning and I can't wait to get it over with and find out what my numbers are.

In other news, my oldest daughter, Alyssa, started Pre-K on Monday.  She's been so excited about starting school and did great when I dropped her off on Monday.  Then when she came home she kept telling me how much she missed me.  She was fine on Tuesday when I took her to school until I told her bye.  Then she busted out crying and was grabbing onto me not wanting to let go.  We had to pry her off and she was very upset and crying.  Then this morning she was upset all morning and saying that she didn't like school and didn't want to go.  And again we had to pry her away from me so I could leave.  That is killing me, it's absolute torture.  I'm not sure how much more I can take and all these stupid hormones aren't helping.  I've been a complete mess all week.  Plus when we leave Alyssa there crying Zoe will start crying for Alyssa to, either when we leave or after we get home :'(  The thought of home school has popped into my head more than a few times the past few days, especially since Pre-K isn't mandatory.  Then I just worry that the same thing will happen next year too and I don't think I have the patience to home school indefinitely. 

I'm REALLY hoping next week will be better (starting with my beta on Monday :)

Transfer!!!

Well, I flew out to L.A. on Tuesday and hopped a cab to my hotel in Pasadena, the Westin hotel.  The next morning was transfer day.  "A" and I walked down to Jamba Juice before our appointment for a quick "breakfast".  After sitting in the waiting room for a few minutes they called me back and got me set up in the room on the table.  I had one of the paper drapes over me and a big warm blanket on top of that.  After sitting there for a few minutes they finally had "A" come in.  They had a chair in there for him to sit in and it was over by my head and when he came in he scooted it back as far as he could...LOL.  I thought that was funny :)  And he was asking me if I was ok with him being in there...LOL.  So we signed some papers and got ready to do the transfer.  The did pretty good keeping me covered the whole time (from what I could tell :) so hopefully "A" didn't get too much of an eye full.  When Dr. Kolb started the procedure he turned off the lights and they did an ultrasound at the same time as they were doing the transfer so you could see it going in.  After that I had to lay on the table for about 10 minutes before I could get up and go to the bathroom (did I mention all this had to be done with a full bladder?).  While I was on the table "A" kept asking me if I was ok and if it hurt.  Then he stepped out to call "I" and his mom and everyone and let them know how it went.  It was so funny b/c "A" was so happy and excited and couldn't stop smiling and telling me "Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!"  It was very cute :)  Then we both went back to our hotel room for about an hour so that I could lay down since I had to be on bed rest the rest of the day and "A" needed to get himself calmed down...LOL!  After that it was time for lunch and he told me to just lay there and stay in bed and he would go get whatever I wanted.  He ended up running down to PF Changs and bringing back Chinese food.  It was very good.  And we watched a movie.  Later on he went to the California Pizza Kitchen to get me some pasta for dinner, which was delicious and we just hung out and talked for at least 2 hours.  It was a very nice end to the day.  Then before I flew back home the next morning we walked down to Marston's Restaurant and had a very nice breakfast out on the patio.  It was a great couple of days (except having to be on bed rest) and I loved getting to hang out with "A" some more.  I sure hope this works on the first try b/c I am going to feel awful if it doesn't.  I know that besides taking all the meds like I'm supposed to there's really nothing else I can do but I don't think that will make me fell any better.  I've been having a little bit of cramping off and on and a couple of bouts of nausea since the night after the transfer (not sure if that's from the meds or the embies) so hopefully that's a good thing and these embies are busy getting snuggled in good.  I go back to the doctor on the 15th to have the big pregnancy test done.  I'm hoping for high numbers.  I will probably start taking pregnancy tests way before then so I will let you know how it goes.  I will try to hold out on POAS until Monday but we'll see how that goes :)  Monday I will be 5dp3dt and that is really early to get a positive but it doesn't hurt to try.  They say practice makes perfect :) 

Now onto the good stuff...pictures :)

This is the lobby of the hotel.

These are "A's" embryos.  They used the bottom one.

These are "I's" embryos.  They used one of the 4 across the top, not sure which one though.

The big black blob on the top is my bladder and the smaller grey blob under that is my uterus and the white line in the middle of my uterus is where they put the embryos.  Think sticky thoughts :)

This is me and "A" the morning after transfer before I had to go home.  ("I" had to work and couldn't come)

Oh and I forgot to mention that I got to skype with the kids every night before they went to bed and Alyssa was very ready for me to come home.  The night after the transfer when we were skyping she said, "Did you get a baby put in your belly?  Are you all done?  Can you come home now?"  Thursday she had her open house and Tommy had to take her for me and when they left he took the kids to McDonalds and Alyssa was telling some random lady up there that, "Mommy had babies put in her belly."  And of course the lady was telling Tommy congratulations and all that stuff and he didn't really know what to say and Alyssa was trying to tell her everything.  I wish I could have seen the look on Tommy's face as he tried to change the subject and get Alyssa to be quiet...LOL.  Alyssa was very happy to see me this morning and came in and gave me a big hug and told me she missed me and loves me (so sweet :')  Earlier today Zoe was trying to climb on me and Alyssa told her that she can't climb on me b/c I've got a baby in my belly and she asked me if they are girl or boy babies...LOL!  Kids are so cute :) 

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

Tomorrow I will be "leavin' on a jet plane".  Woohoo!!!  Talked to my IFs yesterday and found out that they were able to get 20 eggs during the egg retrieval.  The RE said 8 - 11 is average!  And today we found out that 9 of those fertilized.  YAY!!!  I am so hoping this works on the first try but, just in case, they are going to freeze the rest of the eggs (assuming they make it).  And if we don't end up needing them they mentioned keeping them to possibly try a future sibling :D  I am so freaking excited I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight.  I haven't had much spotting just a tiny bit every once in a while.  I am dying to know how my lining looks and if it has thickened up any.  Can't wait to see A again.  I'm sure he's just as excited as I am.  I've got my toes painted green for good luck so it has to work!  Right!  Can't believe in less than 2 days I am going to be pregnant!!!  Hopefully with twins :))  Wish me luck.  I'll update when I get back and hopefully have lots of pictures.

A Little Scare

I kinda got a little freaked out today.  I started spotting this morning.  It was just a tiny bit at first then it got worse.  I didn't know what to do.  I was so afraid I was about to start bleeding and everything was going to be ruined.  I was already disappointed that my lining wasn't thicker at my last lining check and now this (plus my face is breaking out like crazy and I don't know if it's the stress or the hormones, probably both)...ugh!!!  So I called the RE and he told me to increase the EIO to .3cc instead of .2cc and to go ahead and do it today instead of waiting for tomorrow when I was scheduled to do my shot and to take it easy for the rest of the weekend.  It seems to have stopped so I'm keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed that it worked :)  Wish me luck!

Rescheduled!!!

Ok, I had my last lining check today and I was pretty disappointed.  The week before last it was at 4 then last week it was at 7 so I was hoping for around a 10 this week.  No such luck.  It is 8.4, which is ok I guess.  It has to be at least a 7 or 8 to transfer so we are good there, just not as high as I expected.  Kolb said everything looked good though and he was not concerned.  Plus since the transfer got pushed back, we now have more time for my lining to thicken up.  Everything happens for a reason :D

So, about the transfer.  The ED got her shot tonight and they are going to do the ER on Sunday and we will transfer on Wednesday.  Can't wait.  I won't be able to make it home in time for my daughter's open house but I'm ok with that now.  I am just going to give hubby a list of questions to ask the teacher and hopefully he can get her e-mail address for me in case I have any more questions.

Tomorrow is my last day on the lupron.  The estrogen pill that I take 1 pill 3x a day, I will now be taking 2 pills 2x a day which is more convenient for me.  And on the 1st I start the dreaded progesterone lozenges and suppositories :/

That's about it.  Can't wait to fly out to L.A. on Tuesday.  Taking the kids to the High Falls water slides tomorrow for the first time.  Can't wait, they are going to have a blast :)  I just hope it isn't too crowded.

A Bit of a Problem

Well, we've got our first little set back.  Apparently the ED was supposed to get a shot to get her body ready for the ER or get her to produce eggs or something but she didn't get it.  I'm not sure when she was supposed to get it or why she didn't get it but Kolb (fertility doctor in L.A.) wants to see her on Friday (tomorrow) to give her the shot.  They were supposed to be doing the ER tomorrow but instead they will just be giving her the shot.  That means that the ER will be on Sunday or Monday.  If they do the ER on Sunday then we will do the transfer on Wednesday.  If they do the ER on Monday then we will transfer on Thursday.  I'm REALLY hoping we transfer on Wednesday b/c Thursday is my daughter's open house (our first open house) and I really don't want to miss it.  I know there isn't really anything I can do about it but that isn't going to stop me from being mad for a little while.  I had everything all set up with my transfer dates and who was gonna watch the kids and I'm just mad that it had to get all turned upside down.  I know that in the bigger picture this is just a tiny problem but when you're as hormonal as I am right now, everything's a big deal.  Ok, I'm done whining, after all, it could be worse.  At least I'm not missing her first day of school or her Kindergarten graduation or anything like that.

In other news, I've got my last E2/US tomorrow so I'm hoping my lining is super thick with a triple stripe :)  I'm so glad this is the last time I will have to drive to Atlanta for a while.  I hate driving in all that traffic.  I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to tell if I'm pregnant or not.  My boobs are still really sore from all this estrogen I'm on and I've been told by some of my surro sisters that the progesterone can cause "morning sickness".  So, I guess it's a good thing I've got plenty of HPTs, 14 to be exact, thanks to my SSS (secret surro sister).  I was scheduled to start the progesterone after my appt tomorrow but now I'm not sure what they are going to want me to do.  Guess I'll find out tomorrow and I'll update again :)

Crazy Hormones

Had another E2/US today and everything looked good.  I think my lining was at 4.5 last week before my period and today it was at a 7 which I think is pretty good.  I think it has to be at least an 8 to transfer.

Besides that there's not really much to post about.  These hormones are making me super emotional right now.  I tried to warn hubby last week that he needed to be super sweet but he didn't listen and upset me and I think I cried for 2 days.  It was awful.  But he apologized and we're ok now (really need a date night) and I'm feeling much better today.  Hopefully he can be super sweet until after I'm off meds (one can hope:)  Just realized that I am going to be flying out to L.A. NEXT SUNDAY!  AHHH!!!  It kinda snuck up on me.  I knew it was getting close but when you say "next Sunday" it sounds so much closer and more real.

E2/US Appt Today

So I had my 2nd E2/US appt today and everything went great.  And for those of you that don't know, the E2 is the blood test they do to check your estrogen level and the US is the ultrasound they do to check your ovaries and the lining of your uterus.  I think at this stage in the process they want your lining to be thin and your estrogen levels to be low (preferably b/c you've just had a visit from AF).

Well, since I took my last BC pill on Monday I still hadn't gotten a visit from dear old AF.  I know it normally takes me 3 - 5 days to start my period after I take my last active BC pill but I have been so worried that it is going to mess something up since it hasn't gotten here yet.  Before your period your lining is typically thick and that is what you shed when you have a period.  And since they want your lining to be thin before you start taking the estrogen you usually need to have a period first.  Luckily when I went to my appointment today the US tech said that my lining was already really thin (4.6) and after they got the blood work back they said my estrogen levels were already really low too.  They wanted my levels to be below 80 and mine were below 25.  So Dr. Kolb said it was ok to go ahead and start the meds without having had a period. 

I was so relieved b/c if he wanted me to have a period first that would push our timeline back.  So, after all that worrying about not getting my period and then getting cleared to start meds anyways, I get home from the store and guess who has decided to come for a visit...dear old AF.  Ahhhh.  I was so worried that I was going to have to wait a couple of days for AF to leave before I could start meds so I called Grace at Dr. Kolb's office right away.  She did a great job of calming me down and reassuring me that it was fine and that I could continue on the meds as planned.  I felt so much better after talking to her.  She is very sweet.

I'm not really sure how much detail I should be giving my IFs.  I tend to tell people TMI and I kind of worry that I am going to tell them something that they really didn't want (or need) to know.  Like when I called them today after my appt.  Most guys don't have a whole lot of experience or knowledge about the female reproductive system and periods and linings as it is.  So, trying to explain it to a gay guy was kinda funny b/c they have even less experience and knowledge about it.  I kinda felt like I was speaking spanish or something...LOL.  Plus it was kinda weird discussing it with a guy.  I've never had a problem talking about that stuff with other women but I've never had to discuss it with a guy before.  I don't have a problem telling them but maybe I should ask them exactly how much detail they want to know  :)

Still Friends :D

Just a quick update on how everything went with my friend.  I ended up going over to her new house yesterday and we had a great time.  I love her new house and our kids had a great time playing together and cooling off in the pool.  So, I finally told her and I was pleasantly surprised by how she reacted.  While I know and understand that she doesn't agree with it, she didn't freak out or get mad at me or anything.  I am so relieved.

Injections, BCP and Life

Not a whole lot new to post.  I did my 5th lupron injection tonight and Alyssa even helped me.  This was the first time she's seen me do the injection since she freaked out.  She cleaned off a spot on my stomach with the alcohol pad then I put the needle in and she pushed the medicine in.  Then I pulled the needle out and she said, "That wasn't so bad."  She was even joking around and laughing about how much she freaked out last time.  I knew she'd come around :)

I took my last BCP yesterday so I am patiently waiting on AF.  Hopefully she will visit soon.  My boobs are killing me.  Don't know if that's from the lupron or b/c I was supposed to start about a week ago and my hormones are probably going crazy.  My patience does seem to be a little thinner than normal also.

We are also trying to get everything ready for Zoe's 2nd birthday.  We got her a trampoline for her birthday and started putting it together tonight.  We got the trampoline part put together and the kids jumped on it for a little while.  We should be able to finish the net sides tomorrow as long as the weather holds out.  Weather has been horrible here lately.  Highs around 96 with 85% humidity and the heat index for today was 113 (in Ga)!!!  Miserable.  I am missing that L.A. weather right now.

I'm watching the Little Couple right now and she is doing I think her 5th egg retrieval.  Out of the other 4 egg retrievals they were only able to get 1 egg and they got 2 eggs this time.  They are trying to get enough eggs together to do some genetic testing on and implant some embryos into a surrogate.  I think it would be so cool to be a surrogate for them.  They seem like really sweet down to earth people.  Just noticed that the fertility clinic they are at is HRC Fertility in California.  Hmmm...wonder what agency they are using.

Well, about my friend, I don't think she has gotten the e-mail yet.  Apparently her computer got struck by lightening and won't turn on.  So, she is supposed to be calling me so we can meet up b/c my husband is her computer repair man.  I guess I will just end up telling her in person when I see her.  Wish me luck.  No telling how she will react when she finds out. 

One Down

Well, I had my "first" lupron injection today.  Very easy.  My 4 year old insisted on watching me do it before she got ready for bed so she stood there watching me get everything ready then right before the needle went in she yelled, "No, don't do it!"  Then after it went it she ran into the next room crying saying she didn't like needles.  LOL!  That child is so overly dramatic.  I was trying to show her that it wasn't going to hurt and it wasn't a big deal but I don't guess it worked.  Hopefully she will calm down in the next couple of weeks and will be so used to it that I will have her doing my injections ;) 

In other news, I wrote my best friend an e-mail the other day telling her about who I am doing the surrogacy for (don't know if I'm getting brave or it was just stupidity).  Up until now she assumed it was for a straight couple.  We don't talk about it much.  I've known her since I was born but our lives keep us busy and we don't see each other as much as we would like.  One reason I never told her is b/c I know she strongly disagrees with homosexuality.  She already thought I was crazy just for doing the surrogacy.  But we've been friends for too long and I couldn't stand keeping something like this from her.  I would rather tell her now and have her never talk to me again (although I hope it doesn't come to that) than go through with it and her find out later.  Since I sent her the e-mail I haven't heard anything from her.  Hopefully she just needs some time to calm down.  Maybe I'll work up the courage to call her next week, we'll see.

Another surrogate posted in one of our FB groups today about receiving some harsh criticism over doing a surrogacy for a gay couple and I am going to post some really good comments people wrote.

"...the Bible teaches acceptance and love, not hate and judgement."

"...ask them if they are God (and we know the answer to that), and then when they say no I say then be quiet and let him do his job when my time here is done. Plain and simple, He is the only one that can judge you in the end and the God I believe in knows my heart and know my IF's hearts and that alone makes me know I'm doing something very right. :) A good Dr. Seuss quote lol, "Always be yourself and say how you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." "

"I was raised Christian and at first I really had to think about it...but to be honest I was raised not to judge people. Who am I to say no someone who wants to start a family. And to be honest most gay people are the sweetest human beings... ever and make great parents. Better then some so-called parents out there. I was hesitant in the beginning to tell people but now I have no shame and if people cant accept it I really don't care. As long as my husband and family are ok that is all that matters...like my mom always said "do they put food on the table"? "pay your bills"? if not don't worry about them."

Going into surrogacy I have had a lot of reactions that I never expected.  I knew my friend didn't like gays but had no idea she would be opposed to surrogacy, as is my step dad.  My mom and dad were ok with the surrogacy but totally freaked out when they found out I was doing it for a gay couple.  I never expected that.  Growing up I was never taught to be judgmental.  I was taught to accept people for who they are on the inside.  Homosexuality wasn't even something that my parents had ever mentioned so I never knew it was an issue.  So you can imagine how completely confused I was when they reacted the way they did. 

I'm sure I will come across more judgmental people during the course of this surrogacy (and the ones that follow).  I just hope that some of the people around me can learn to be more accepting and I am so very thankful for the ones that stand behind me on this topic b/c they far out number the ones that don't. 

Tentative Dates!!!

Got my tentative dates today!  YAY!!!  Everything seems to be moving much quicker now.  Only about a week before we start injections!  Wow! 

Here's my timeline...

07/08/11 US/E2 (Ultrasound and estrogen level) Lupron Start- After phone/email confirmation

07/11/11 Take last ACTIVE birth control pill and expect a period

07/1511-US/E2-If OK, start Estrogen- After Phone/email confirmation

07/22/11 US/E2-Lining check

07/29/11 US/E2-Lining check-

07/29/11- Possible Progesterone Start

08/01/11 Possible Possible Embryo Transfer- Day-3/GSN

08/03/11 Possible Embryo Transfer- Day-5

Quick Update

Well, I got the contract the other day.  Yay!!!  There is just one thing I need to talk to the lawyer about so I have an appointment to talk to him tomorrow then we can get this thing signed.  I am hoping to be completely done with contracts by the end of next week.  Also, we are officially medically cleared.  Yay!!!  Everything came back fine with "Riley's" last test results and we are ready to move forward except for the contract.  "A" called me today and told me how happy and excited he was that we got the medical clearance and that we are one step closer to starting meds then transfer and he kept thanking me over and over.  LOL!  He is so sweet, they both are, and it was so good to hear from him today. 

Almost There and Slightly Annoyed

I and A are still looking over the contract with their lawyer so nothing new to report there.  But we did get the test results back for the guys and the egg donor and it all came back negative except for a very rare gene abnormality that A had so they are making sure the egg donor doesn't carry it also.  I think it's one of those things where if one parent has it you're ok but if both parents have it then they can pass it on to the kid.  I'm just glad everything was cleared with our egg donor.  That was the main thing I was worried about because I have heard so many stories of egg donors testing positive for drugs or STDs.  So glad we didn't have to deal with that.  It feels like a huge weight lifted.  One thing a lot of people have been asking is, "Why don't they screen the egg donors before hand?"  Well, that's a pretty simple answer.  They have a lot of egg donors sitting in the database waiting to be picked.  You never know how long it's going to be before they get picked, if they get picked.  They could be waiting for a year, you never know.  The agency doesn't want to waste the money screening an egg donor that never gets picked.  Plus, and probably more importantly, the screening has to be up to date.  Another thing I never really knew about the egg donor until now is that they are usually always annonymous and have fake names and everything.  I asked "I and A" if they got to meet the egg donor and they said no, that it's all annonymous and they don't even know her real name.  It seems kinda strange that these women are going to have a bunch of kids running around that they are never going to meet or even know whether or not the eggs turned into babies I guess.  I don't know how they do it, I know I never could.  But I guess it's good that there are women out there that do it b/c there are a lot of deserving couples out there waiting to become a family and without them, my "job" would be a whole lot harder.
Which leads me to another topic, my mom.  She still isn't happy about me doing a surrogacy for a gay couple and the other day she called me.  Apparently someone had told her that you get like $10,000 for donating your eggs, which I think she was thinking that was per egg (it's definately not), I'm pretty sure that number is way off.  I'm thinking it's like $6,000 or something.  But anyways, she says, "Have you ever thought of doing that (egg donation) so you don't have to do the surrogacy?"  It just really rubbed me the wrong way I guess.  Like she was saying that I am just doing it for the money so why don't I just donate my eggs since it's easier.  I think I've said it before but I'll say it again.  Surrogacy is not something you do for the money.  It takes a lot of time and effort and sacrafice on my part as a surrogate but I don't care.  I do it with love and compassion for this wonderful couple who I can't wait to make a family.  I'm sure it may be hard from time to time but I expected that.  She thinks (or hopes) that after I do it one time I will see how hard it is and how hard it is to hand over the baby and I won't want to do it again.  I am not going to have any problem handing them their baby(ies).  My kids are enough of a handfull and I do not want any more any time soon, or maybe ever, especially if they aren't even mine.  I never said that this was going to be an easy journey, but I know it'll be worth it.  It just frustrates me to no end that she can't see that.

We've also been having issues with insurance lately.  The lady in HR at Tommy's work has been getting on my last nerve.  We have BCBS and Tommy's work is switching over to Coventry, which will be the 3rd insurance we've had in the past year!  First Kaiser, then BCBS and now Coventry, so annoying.  Well, we were hoping to be able to use my insurance, BCBS, during the surrogacy to save the guys a little money and they would just purchase a separate policy to cover anything that my insurance didn't cover.  We already knew that the insurance was going to be changing but we were told (lied to) by the lady in HR that we were still going to be with BCBS but it was just going to be another policy with them.  I even called her last week to ask her a little more about it and she just said that it was going to be automatic, we didn't have to do anything and that we probably wouldn't even notice any difference.  That was all a bunch of BS.  I've got a bunch of paperwork I've got to fill out and how could I not notice any difference?  The insurance companies are completely different!  I hate being lied to and I hate that the guys may end up having to pay for a separate insurance.  I'm pretty sure BCBS would have covered my surrogate pregnancy b/c there are a lot of other surrogates who use it but now with this new insurance I don't think it will cover the pregnancy (we'll definately try though) and it's going to cost the guys a lot of money to have to purchase a separate insurance.

It's just a lot of variables that have to come into play within the next 2 weeks.  I am very excited to be moving forward but I can't wait to be done with all this paperwork.  Hopefully my next post will be a little more cheery :)

A Post For My Fellow Bloggers

Ok...so I know that many of you have been unable to comment on blogs! Thanks to a fellow blogger and her friend, I think we may now have the answer.  I copied her post here for everyone to see...

The blogs that I am still unable to comment on have the "full page" setting for comments. Those who have the "pop up window" setting, I am able to comment on. I have changed mine and would invite some of you to consider changing over! There are SO many of you that I've been dying to comment on how excited I am for you, how cute your belly is looking, how glad I am that you are sharing your story, etc.!!

To change: Go to the SETTINGS button. Click on the COMMENTS tab. About 3 settings down you can choose POP UP WINDOW and SAVE. Voila! Now Jeni is a happy camper and can talk to you again!!! I know we are all on the same page and want Jeni to be a happy camper, right? RIGHT??? LOL!!

Anyway, I thought I would share just in case this helps!

Just a quick update

I talked to *I* today and he said that he has recieved the draft of the surrogacy contract to look over.  Woohoo!  Progress!  So looks like HOPEFULLY we will have contracts signed by this week or next week.  Yay!!!  *Happy Dance*

Nothing New

Unfortunately I don't have much to post about today.  We've been matched for 3 weeks now and still haven't started on contracts.  Grrr.  We've been working on the insurance and legal stuff some and last I heard, the contracts were being drawn up so hopefully it won't be too much longer.  The guys and the egg donor had their screenings done and hopefully the results from that will be back very soon.  As long as everything is ok with that, we are supposed to be starting meds around the beginning of July and transfer around the end of July or beginning of August.  That's pretty much it.  Hopefully we can move on to the good stuff soon and I will have more to post about.  Hard to believe I am looking forward to having to give myself shots every day...LOL. 

Match Confirmed!!!

Just got back from L.A. a couple of hours ago.  We had a great time with the guys.  They are absolutely perfect and we clicked immediately.  I am so glad I went with my gut and didn't go with any of those other IPs I was matched with.  Even though this has been a much longer journey than I ever anticipated, I wouldn't change a thing b/c I know this is right where I was meant to be.  This couple is more perfect for us than I could have ever imagined.  I feel so lucky to have gotten such a perfect match.  We hung out with them for a good part of the afternoon and talked forever about everything.  They are so down to earth and easy to talk to and we have so much in common, besides our last names...LOL!  It was so funny when we went out to eat and they asked for a last name.  We just kind of looked at each other and laughed.

What are the odds?

Ok, how crazy is this? Both of the IFs I am going to meet have the same last name as me! What are the odds of that?!? It's crazy enough that they would both have the same last name, but to then get matched with a surrogate with the same last name. So crazy. And one of them has a mom named Paula, that is my MILs name...LOL! I saw it on the itenerary they sent me and assumed it was a typo. They e-mailed me back and said that it wasn't a typo.  It just blows my mind to think about.

Quick Update

Pretty soon I will be off to my last match meeting.  I can't wait to get it over with.  I think I've read over their profile like 10 times.  I wish there was some way we could communicate with them before the match meeting.  We fly out to L.A. for the match meeting on May 12th.  Seems so far away but I'm sure it will go by pretty quickly.  Especially with us trying to get ready for Mother's Day, Alyssa's 4th birthday at the end of May, and our 5 year wedding anniversary at the end of May.  Plus several more birthdays coming up in June and July, including my baby's 2nd birthday.  I love spring and summer!

New Profile

Well, I was starting to think it wasn't possible.  That I was never going to find that perfect match.  That it just wasn't going to happen for me.  But GG sent me the PERFECT profile today.  I was in tears the whole time I was reading it b/c I was so happy to have finally found them.  I am so excited to meet them and get this show on the road.  They are around our age and just live in the next state over.  Woohoo!!!!!!  I am SOOOO happy now!  Thanks everyone for your support, it means the world to me.

Moving On

Well, I couldn't take it anymore.  The hanging around and waiting to know whether or not A was going to change his mind was killing me emotionally.  That's one roller coaster I decided to get off of.  Even if he did change his mind I would be constantly worrying if he was just doing it b/c S wanted him to or if he really wanted kids and whether or not he was going to back out again.  When I backed out with the last set of IFs after the match meeting A sounded so sure that they were going to be ready to get started again soon and sounded like he didn't want me to match yet.  He was texting me when we flew out for the match meeting with the other guys.  So, I waited.  Almost as soon as he found out that I had backed out with the other couple he started acting all wishy washy again. 

Then I e-mailed him last week saying that if we were going to be doing a May/June transfer we might want to go ahead and get started on SOMETHING.  I think we still needed to do some more paperwork and stuff and get our cycles synchronized.  This was his reply...

I don't have anything completely  concrete to report at this moment. As soon as I do, I will let u know. I promise. I hope it's soon, but i just cant guarantee that.  Meantime... if you feel like you're putting your life on hold for us, please take care of yourself first. Okay?  I don't want you to feel held hostage by my lengthy process with all of this. I wish no one was, including S, but there it is. This is more difficult for me than I wish. 

The second we decide to move forward, you'll be the first to know. I swear. 

 

I love him to death.  They are both super sweet and if A ever stops worrying so much he might get a chance to see how great a father he can be and what a rewarding experience it is, however much it turns your life upside down.  I have become very attached to them over the past 6 months but, emotionally, I just can't take it anymore.  I wish them the best of luck on their journey.  They're gonna need it.

 

I know there are a lot of couples out there who really want a kid with all their heart and I can't wait to help them.  So, hopefully I will be receiving another profile soon and am able to move on, quickly.  I told Erica at GG to make sure they only send me profiles of couples who are 100% on board and ready to move forward :)

 

In other sad news.  My sister-in-law found out today after several weeks of low numbers and slow rising numbers and many ultrasounds that she has an ectopic pregnancy.  She has been really low for a while now b/c every time she went to the doctor to find out what was going on they could never tell her anything and it was all very confusing and stressful.  But she seemed like she was in a much better mood today.  I guess b/c she finally found out what was actually going on, it's the waiting and not knowing that is the hard part.  So she had to go up to the hospital today and have it taken care of.  I thought that they had to physically clean the pregnancy out of the tube but apparently they don't do that anymore.  They gave her a shot in each hip and sent her home.  Amazing.

 

And I leave you with this.  A few pictures I took of my beautiful girls the other day during an unplanned "photo shoot".  Alyssa is almost 4 and Zoe is almost 2.