What are the odds?

Ok, how crazy is this? Both of the IFs I am going to meet have the same last name as me! What are the odds of that?!? It's crazy enough that they would both have the same last name, but to then get matched with a surrogate with the same last name. So crazy. And one of them has a mom named Paula, that is my MILs name...LOL! I saw it on the itenerary they sent me and assumed it was a typo. They e-mailed me back and said that it wasn't a typo.  It just blows my mind to think about.

Quick Update

Pretty soon I will be off to my last match meeting.  I can't wait to get it over with.  I think I've read over their profile like 10 times.  I wish there was some way we could communicate with them before the match meeting.  We fly out to L.A. for the match meeting on May 12th.  Seems so far away but I'm sure it will go by pretty quickly.  Especially with us trying to get ready for Mother's Day, Alyssa's 4th birthday at the end of May, and our 5 year wedding anniversary at the end of May.  Plus several more birthdays coming up in June and July, including my baby's 2nd birthday.  I love spring and summer!

New Profile

Well, I was starting to think it wasn't possible.  That I was never going to find that perfect match.  That it just wasn't going to happen for me.  But GG sent me the PERFECT profile today.  I was in tears the whole time I was reading it b/c I was so happy to have finally found them.  I am so excited to meet them and get this show on the road.  They are around our age and just live in the next state over.  Woohoo!!!!!!  I am SOOOO happy now!  Thanks everyone for your support, it means the world to me.

Moving On

Well, I couldn't take it anymore.  The hanging around and waiting to know whether or not A was going to change his mind was killing me emotionally.  That's one roller coaster I decided to get off of.  Even if he did change his mind I would be constantly worrying if he was just doing it b/c S wanted him to or if he really wanted kids and whether or not he was going to back out again.  When I backed out with the last set of IFs after the match meeting A sounded so sure that they were going to be ready to get started again soon and sounded like he didn't want me to match yet.  He was texting me when we flew out for the match meeting with the other guys.  So, I waited.  Almost as soon as he found out that I had backed out with the other couple he started acting all wishy washy again. 

Then I e-mailed him last week saying that if we were going to be doing a May/June transfer we might want to go ahead and get started on SOMETHING.  I think we still needed to do some more paperwork and stuff and get our cycles synchronized.  This was his reply...

I don't have anything completely  concrete to report at this moment. As soon as I do, I will let u know. I promise. I hope it's soon, but i just cant guarantee that.  Meantime... if you feel like you're putting your life on hold for us, please take care of yourself first. Okay?  I don't want you to feel held hostage by my lengthy process with all of this. I wish no one was, including S, but there it is. This is more difficult for me than I wish. 

The second we decide to move forward, you'll be the first to know. I swear. 

 

I love him to death.  They are both super sweet and if A ever stops worrying so much he might get a chance to see how great a father he can be and what a rewarding experience it is, however much it turns your life upside down.  I have become very attached to them over the past 6 months but, emotionally, I just can't take it anymore.  I wish them the best of luck on their journey.  They're gonna need it.

 

I know there are a lot of couples out there who really want a kid with all their heart and I can't wait to help them.  So, hopefully I will be receiving another profile soon and am able to move on, quickly.  I told Erica at GG to make sure they only send me profiles of couples who are 100% on board and ready to move forward :)

 

In other sad news.  My sister-in-law found out today after several weeks of low numbers and slow rising numbers and many ultrasounds that she has an ectopic pregnancy.  She has been really low for a while now b/c every time she went to the doctor to find out what was going on they could never tell her anything and it was all very confusing and stressful.  But she seemed like she was in a much better mood today.  I guess b/c she finally found out what was actually going on, it's the waiting and not knowing that is the hard part.  So she had to go up to the hospital today and have it taken care of.  I thought that they had to physically clean the pregnancy out of the tube but apparently they don't do that anymore.  They gave her a shot in each hip and sent her home.  Amazing.

 

And I leave you with this.  A few pictures I took of my beautiful girls the other day during an unplanned "photo shoot".  Alyssa is almost 4 and Zoe is almost 2.

 

 

Long time no post

Nothing much new going on unfortunately.  We are still with S and A and according to A his sister will be ready to get started again around the end of May to beginning of July so that's not too far off.  This is what he said in one of the last e-mails he sent me..."we hope to make a decision in the next month-ish as to if/when we want to move forward.  S does NOT want to wait a whole year, because he thinks we're getting too old.  And he does have a point, of course.  So we'll know what we're doing in April, I imagine.  And try to set it up."  The only thing that has been bothering me is that "IF" b/c he seemed so sure before and now I'm kinda worried.  I should hear something else from him pretty soon and I will let yall know what they decide.  Hopefully they want to move forward and we can start getting everything set up for a May/June transfer.  I can't wait to be pregnant again. 

And if all this waiting to get knocked up wasn't enough, I just found out my sister-in-law is pregnant with her first baby today.  This "baby bug" is kicking my a$$!  I am so happy and excited for them though.  I don't have a sister and haven't really had any really close friends or anything that live near me that I have been able to share in their pregnancy experience with so this is super exciting to me.  Now I think I know how she must have felt when I got pregnant :)  I'm so glad I have such a good relationship with my MIL and SIL.  They are amazing women and two of my very best friends.
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Sticking With It

Well, I heard back from A today and he said that they are basically trying to figure out when in the next 3 to 6 months they would be able to start again and figure out some scheduling stuff with his sister.  So guess we will just have to wait and see what happens.  Ideally they would be able to start within the next month or be able to wait a year while I did another surrogacy but it doesn't look like it's going to work that way.  I was really looking forward to getting started soon and being pregnant this summer but if I have to choose between getting started right away and waiting for the couple that I know we love, I'll wait.  I have plenty of time to be a surrogate and I know it will happen when it was meant to happen.  I have already tried, without success, to move on from S and A and choose another couple and I am done.  I feel like I was just meant to do a surrogacy for them and if I have to wait then I will.

Unsuccessful Match

Ok, we flew out to L.A. last week for the match meeting with D and R.  The guys were really nice but we really got the feeling that D wasn't sure if he wanted to work with us or not.  Plus they were supposed to let the agency know what they decided by last Friday and as of Tuesday they still hadn't let them know anything.  Maybe we were just reading too much into it, I don't know.  But between that and the fact that our former IPs, S and A, have been contacting me again wanting to get started again sometime soon, we decided to let D and R go.  Only thing is that S and A haven't given me a timeline yet as to when they will be ready to start again.  I'm just hoping it won't be too long.  They were supposed to let me know something today but I haven't heard anything from them and I texted them and e-mailed them today.  Hopefully everything is ok and they aren't backing out again.  Either way I feel like we made the right decision about not going with D and R.  I know no one ever said surrogacy was easy I just never expected it to take this long to get matched.  This is getting a little ridiculous.  And I feel terrible b/c the agency is spending all this time, energy and money trying to get me matched and so far it hasn't happened but they have been absolutely great about the whole situation.  Just kinda rolling right along with it like me.  What else can you do?  I guess it'll happen when it happens and until then I am just going to try to concentrate on my life.  Gotta get my oldest baby signed up for pre-k next week.  Can't believe she is starting school...that's crazy!